Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
