i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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