if i can run in heels then i can drive
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
