loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Randomize
