Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
