One girl and one boy is just not enough.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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