idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
