Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Randomize
