I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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