I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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