the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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