I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
