Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
