I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize