grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
