he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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