I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
