I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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