Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
