Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I think my moral compass just broke
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