i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Randomize
