I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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