i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
