im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
