The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
