so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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