at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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