No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
