I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
And then my night got REAL pukey
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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