are you so shy because you have an std?
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize