Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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