Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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