it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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