i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
