life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
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