Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Randomize
