Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
