Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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