the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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