this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Randomize
