its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
