My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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