The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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