That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
