So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Randomize