I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
he was CRYING into my vagina
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
