I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
