Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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