So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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