no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
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