dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
i dont even know how to be here
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
