Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
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BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
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Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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