I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
It's just like the Real World with babies
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
