i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
