I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
