pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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