Yo dont text me then not text me
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
