A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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