Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize