Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
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I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
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Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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