I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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